


First to Run

by plantboycharms



Series: Electra Heart [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Casual Sex, F/M, Heartbreak, How to be a Heartbreaker, M/M, University, bros that fuck, i love pain wow, it's not nsfw but they talk about it, kuroo puts up walls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 23:18:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8553517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantboycharms/pseuds/plantboycharms
Summary: Kuroo Tetsurou was the biggest ladies’ man in his grade. Maybe even the entire university. One could hardly make eye contact with him without receiving the full force of the bedroom eyes he couldn’t seem to turn off. It wasn’t hard to get a date with Kuroo, as long as you were fully ready to head back to his place afterwards. Everyone knew. But Kuroo Tetsurou never had a girlfriend, never called back. And he never opened up. To anyone. (NOTE! This fic only really makes sense after "A Meltdown" so if you haven't read it you should do that first!!)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just don’t get attached to somebody you could lose.  
> (Can’t risk losing in love again)

Kuroo Tetsurou was the biggest ladies’ man in his grade. Maybe even the entire university. One could hardly make eye contact with him without receiving the full force of the bedroom eyes he couldn’t seem to turn off. It wasn’t hard to get a date with Kuroo, as long as you were fully ready to head back to his place afterwards. Everyone knew.   
But Kuroo Tetsurou never had a girlfriend, never called back. And he never opened up. To anyone. 

Kuroo had spent the last few weeks of his summer break alone. For the first time in years.   
He had been ready to weather the distance. He had been ready to skype call with Kenma, watch them stream video games, take the train in on weekends to visit them and watch their matches, even if he didn’t really have the time to be taking off his coursework. He had been secretly preparing everything he would need to do to make it work with them. They were the most important thing in his life, really.   
Until they had dropped his hand, looked away from his face, and told him that they didn’t love him.   
“You should go,” and, after a pause, “I don’t love you anymore,” they had said, clear and strong, staring at the floor.   
He had not believed it, at first.   
But Kenma didn’t look up.   
He had stared at them, shocked, for a moment. Then, when he remembered how to breathe again, he took two steps backwards, stumbling a little bit, reeling in shock, before turning around and starting to walk towards his own home. He could barely see the sidewalk in front of him. A few steps more and he broke into a gentle jog. The jog got faster. He was sprinting, turning the corner blindly. He had to go, had to get away from Kenma. 

Kenma, who he had trusted with all of his secrets.   
Kenma, who he had grown so used to having around that being alone was discomforting.   
Kenma, who he had loved more than anyone before.

He ran, hard, strong legs taking him far and fast away from the person he loved. Blinking through the tears that he pretended were from the wind, pushing past house after house. His run took him miles away from his own neighborhood. When he finally jogged to a stop, hands on his knees and sweat pouring down his back, he realized that the tears were not going to stop. Long limbs crunched down, arms wrapped around knees, and he hugged himself through shuddering sobs that showed no sign of stopping. How no one saw him, face pressed into knobby knees, struggling to breathe, he would never know.   
When the tears subsided and his breathing went back to normal, he let his weight shift back until he was sitting cross-legged on the sidewalk, wiping his face with his shirt (Kenma would never borrow this shirt in the morning, he thought, he would never see them dwarfed in his shirts that came down to their thighs ever again). He thought about what had happened. He didn’t want to think about it.   
He stood up, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes so hard he saw stars. He still needed to run back. Moron, he thought to himself, why did you run so far? 

Setting back the way he came was difficult. He didn’t really know where he had come from. He was no longer in a familiar neighborhood.   
Normally, in situations like this, he would pull out his phone and let his GPS lead him home. But his background was a picture of him and…   
Well.  
He could find it the old fashioned way. 

Jogging lightly, he tried to let his surroundings fill his mind. He didn’t want to think.   
But his brain was full of thoughts anyways. Thoughts he couldn’t escape. He was alone. So very alone. 

And he would stay that way. He decided then, jogging through an unfamiliar suburb, miles away from the familiar, miles away from the streets he had walked with… well, not alone.   
He would stay alone. If he closed off his heart, no one could hurt him again.   
And that was how Kuroo Tetsurou walked in to his first day of university. His roommate, the ace from Fukurodani, seemed to understand. Kuroo had shoulders back, hair mussed in a perfectly controlled way, and bedroom eyes that could sway anyone. And they did.   
If it wasn’t one of the girls from one of the sports team, it was Bokuto himself. He had a boyfriend, back home at his high school still, but Kuroo didn’t think about it. He immersed himself in the heat and the strength and the mindlessness of it all. Bokuto was big, and strong, and it took his mind off of the stresses of the day. Bokuto didn’t mind, and his boyfriend didn’t seem to either. So that was that. 

Kuroo Tetsurou earned his reputation as the school’s bad boy, and pictures of him sleeping shirtless (at the very least) in bed with various girls ended up all over social media. He knew, in his heart of hearts, that the pictures would make it back to his old high school. And his old team. And everyone still there.   
But he didn’t care. Not anymore. He was here, he was alone, and he loved it. But he was never really alone. There was always someone. Someone new. Use them, throw them away, rinse and repeat. 

It was safe there, in his little bubble. If he never let anyone in, no one could hurt him.   
He would do whatever it took to keep it that way.

**Author's Note:**

> Kuroo gets pain too. You're so welcome.   
> I knocked out two fics in an evening just let me die now.  
> Scream towards my tumblr it's fragile-euphoria   
> Leave a comment or some kudos if you, too, love pain and dying.


End file.
